


Restart

by Icantwrite88



Category: Falsettos - Lapine/Finn
Genre: Cordelia is a saint, F/M, Jason is a lil’shit, M/M, Marvin goes back in time, Sexual Tension, TW: Suicide, Time Travel, Whizzer worries for him, but he’s trying
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-18
Updated: 2018-10-25
Packaged: 2019-04-04 03:08:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 15
Words: 10,104
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14010855
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Icantwrite88/pseuds/Icantwrite88
Summary: Marvin dies, and goes back in time somehow. Whizzer is still alive. Trina and Mendel didn’t marry yet. Jason’s bar-mitzvah isn’t even near yet. Marvin starts to change drastically and it surprises everyone.I suck at summaries





	1. Chapter 1

When Whizzer died, Marvin’s world came crashing down. He hated being in his house, in _their_ house. It’s empty, and everywhere reminded him of Whizzer. His laugh when Marvin told an awful joke, where they got home and screwed, where after a bad day they would cuddle up on the couch. He had been such an ass to him. He always said that he was an ass. He left his only child, divorced his wife, and ran off with Whizzer just cause of that one quick fuck from before.

He hit and ridiculed his ex-wife for finding happiness with another. She told him to grow up. He guessed he never did. Marvin locked up in his home for days. He didn’t eat, or sleep, and only left to use the bathroom. Cordelia forces him to eat at least a small bite of something. Mendel and Trina visits frequently. They try to cheer him up, but nothing works. Jason says that he has finally turned into a nut job, and he doesn’t blame him. His father is a shut in who can’t get over the death of someone he loved. At this point he’s just weighing everyone down. People have to tell him to eat, he doesn’t work, he can’t even function as a person.

Which is why he was staring at himself in the mirror with pills in his hand. He looked like a corpse. His eyes had bangs that looked like bruises. His hair was a mess, and he haven’t shaved in months. He looked terrible, but would that really matter anymore? He uncapped the bottle and held it to his mouth. He wonders who will find him. Most likely Mendel or something. Hopefully not Jason. He already has to see him in a pitiful state. He chuckled at the broken man in the mirror.

How did life come to this? Oh well, he thought. Down the hatch they go. Marvin swallowed half of the sleeping pills in the bottle. Everything immediately became dizzy. He sat down on the floor. He looked up and smiled. At least he won’t be such a disappointment. Then everything blanks out.

  
Marvin wakes up in his bed, his and Whizzer’s bed. He hasn’t slept in this room for the longest. Everything hurts. He remembers being in the bathroom and swallowing a bunch of pills. Did he die? Is he a ghost or something? Something moved next to him. “What the hell?”

“Marv… go to sleep…”

“Whizzer?!” It couldn’t be. He’s dead. He died. Whizzer was dead. He’s been dead for months. This has to be some sort of sick joke, isn’t it? Marvin tugged at his hair. This really can’t be happening. He watched as Whizzer got up from under the covers. “You woke me up… Ass…”

“This can’t be happening…”

“Are you okay?” Marvin couldn’t look him in the eyes. How could he? _How could he?_ “Marvin, you’re scaring me…” Marvin let a sob out of his throat. Whizzer wrapped his arms around him. This really couldn’t be happening.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the wonderful comments. They really make my day! I’m also kinda new here and don’t really know how to make it not show that the work is done yet, or has a certain amount of chapters. Sorry!

“Mind telling me why you started to cry out of nowhere?” Marvin shook his head. “Are you ever going to talk about it?” He shook his head again. Whizzer sighed and kneaded his hands into his shoulders. Marvin swatted his hand away, instantly regretting it. and cried into his hands. He has to be hallucinating. He has to be dead. Whizzer died, is dead, and forever will be. He’s supposed to be dead. But here they both are, breathing, living, _alive_.

He’s going insane. It’s official. Someone needs to send him away to an asylum, a hospital, something. “Marvin, are you okay?” He self-depressingly laughed. “Does it look like I’m okay?”

“Hey, no one asked you to be rude about it.”

“Yeah, you’re right… sorry.” Whizzer raised an eyebrow, and sighed. “So you’re taking a me day?”

“Yeah…” Whizzer planted a kiss on his forehead. “Okay. I’m going to get ready for work. Call me if you need anything.” Marvin blankly watched as Whizzer left the room. Marvin curled up in bed and sobbed into his pillow.

  
That whole interaction was… weird. Marvin rarely cries, or even say sorry in that matter. Something was wrong here, but he couldn’t put his finger on it. But then again, he _did_ say sorry for one of his many shenanigans… But then that meant something was wrong. Whizzer outwardly sighed. Why did he have to be in love with someone so complicated?


	3. Chapter 3

Marvin spent the whole day in bed. He didn’t want to go outside and face the reality that he actually turned insane and someone send him to a nut house. But everything feels so real. _He_ feels so real. He wants to believe this awful lie, but he can’t. Maybe he just had a dream about dying. Maybe he should just try again and finish the job this time. He didn’t notice when Whizzer walked into the room. “Hey Marv.” Marvin flinched when Whizzer sat down on the bed. “Still feeling bad?” Marvin nodded, hoping he would disappear if he did. “Well Trina is having diner at her house. Wanna crash it?” If he sees Trina, she’ll think he’s insane. She’ll tell him to sleep, or to actually eat for once, or to be an actual functioning person. Maybe that act won’t be so bad… “I’ll go…” He mumbled. When he got up from the covers, he noticed that,

A: He was naked

B: He’s not thin anymore. He looks healthy. Someone who refuses to step outside or eat shouldn’t look this way. It’s _inhuman_.

“We get that you have a dick Marv, get dressed.”

“Why am I… naked?”

“You really don’t remember?”

“...No?”

“You’re acting strange Marvin. Are you joking?”

“Does it look like I’m joking?” Both men stared at each other. Whizzer threw a set of clothes at him. “Well get dressed and look presentable.” Marvin hastily got dressed and opened the door. He was hit with sunlight that blinded him. He hasn’t been outside in months.

“What are you, crazy? You’re not going outside in…” Whizzer looked up and down at him. “That.”

“Can’t I just wear a sweatshirt and call it a day?”

“Fine. But the next time you leave this house, I’m going to pick what you are wearing and how you should wear it, because you were going to go outside in a crumpled up shirt, not even buttoned properly, your shoes were on the opposite side on your feet, you didn’t even had a belt on your pants! I swear, sometimes I feel as if I’m taking care of a child.” Marvin put on his sweatshirt, the same one he wore for all these years, and stepped outside. He noticed something else weird. Their old car, an old, brown Chevette Scooter. He thought he sold that thing years ago. “Why do we still have this car?”

“What do you mean Marv? We had this car forever. Yeah, it’s old, but it works!”

“I thought I got rid of this in 1982…”

“Marvin…”

“What?”

“Have you gone crazy?”

“Probably. I’m seeing you.”

“It’s 1979!”


	4. Chapter 4

That’s it. He has officially gone off the rails. There’s no way this is 1979. It’s 1982. It has to be 1982. The year Whizzer is supposed to be dead. This is so fucked up. “Marvin, I don’t know if you’re high, or drunk, but it’s 1979.”

“No it’s not… it’s not. _It’s not._ ”

“Marv…” Whizzer reaches out his hand to Marvin, and he smacked it away. “I’m going to get a drink.”

“Marvin, what are you do-“

“ _Don’t follow me._ ” Marvin goes inside the house, grabs his wallet, and heads in the direction of the nearest bar. He slams open the door, and throws himself onto the barstool. “What can I get you?”

“A beer. Just so you know, I’m gonna be here for a very, _very_ , long time.”

“Noted.”

“Also, what year is it?”

“1979.”

“Yup. I’m going to be here for a real long time.”

_A few drinks later…_

“You know what buddy? I think I time travelled! M’like… m’like… I don’t know… *hic* But I’m supposed to be dead! I kill… killed myself you know. You should try it sometime!”

“Sir, do you have anyone to take you home?”

“Uhhhhh… I don’t know. I mean there’s Whizzer but I… I can’t ‘member his phone number… And he’s dead.”

“Well you have to leave. The bar needs to close.” Marvin hugs the cup of beer he was nursing. “Noooooooooo!” The bar was empty, but Marvin didn’t care. All he wanted was to be with the bartender guy and his beer. “Beer… you’re my only friend. You comfort me in times of need, and you make m’happy. I’d like to m-marry you. I *hic* love you beer!” Marvin kissed the cup he was holding and snuggled it. “You can be my besssttttt man!” He pointed at the bartender, who was ready to leave him there in the bar. Someone opened the door and the bartender groaned. “Go home. We’re closed.”

“I’m looking for a man named Marvin?”

“Oh thank god… He’s right here, but he’s drunk.” Marvin broke into tears. “Whizzer… Why aren’t you dead? I saw you dead… *hic* I saw your grave…” Whizzer threw Marvin over his back. “Beerrrrrr noooooooooo!” Whizzer pulled out his wallet. “Did he pay you?” The bartender nodded, but Whizzer put down a twenty just for his troubles. “I'm sorry for whatever trouble he caused.” And the both of them walked out the bar.


	5. Chapter 5

“Hey Whiz! *hic* Why aren’t you dead? Cause… cause the last time I saw you was *hic* was in a grave…”

“Marvin… you’re drunk.”

“M’not drunk… And I know way more things than you…”

“Whatever you say Marv…” Whizzer had the pleasure of driving Marvin back to their home. “I love you Whizzer… I *hic* missed you. I missed you a lot. I wanna to hug you, and kiss you, but I don’t wanna fuck you… That’s why you’re dead… I’m the reason why you’re dead.” Marvin breaks into another fit of tears. Whizzer sighs with annoyance. Maybe he should try to play along with his drunk shenanigans. “So… I’m dead?”

“Yeah…”

“Why?”

“Because you got sick… you should know that…”

“Well when I died, I forgot everything about how I died.”

“Oh… M’sorry…”

“What are you sorry for?”

“Being an *hic* asshole… I was always an asshole to everyone I decided to be around. I expected everyone to live this happy expected life, when it really isn’t like that. I wanted you to be someone you’re not… M’sorry… I didn’t even get to say it…” Marvin started to cry again, and Whizzer pulls up to their house.

He was… surprised. Marvin never said sorry for that sort of thing. He never said sorry period. And yeah, he sure as hell felt that way. He appreciated the apology, but… when did he finally realize that? Marvin is a stubborn man. He doesn’t change his views so easily, so _why?_ And what’s this nonsense about him getting sick and dying? And how in the world did he forget the year they were in? All of this really is confusing…

He carried Marvin out of the car bridal style. He went upstairs to their bedroom and laid him down on the bed. He covered him up in blankets and placed a kiss on his forehead. When he was about the leave the room, he heard Marvin mumble something. “Don’t leave me… not again… _please._ ” Whizzer groaned and laid down on the bed.

“Happy?” But Marvin didn’t reply back with a sarcastic comment. He curled up onto himself and fell asleep. Whizzer pulled Marvin closer to him. While Marvin slept, Whizzer kept his eye on him, worried that all he has been saying might be true.


	6. Chapter 6

Marvin woke up and his head hurt… a lot. “Mornin’ beautiful.” Whizzer kissed him on the head. “My head hurts…”

“That’s what you get for drinking, idiot.” He flicked Marvin’s forehead. “You also have work today. And I don’t think your boss will appreciate you being absent.” Marvin huffed and got up. Whizzer hugged him from behind. “But work starts in 2 hours…” He rested his head on Marvin’s neck. “Whiz… I gotta get ready…” Whizzer didn’t budge and kissed and nibbled and sucked on his neck. He moved his hands down to his waist. “I’ll be quick.”

Marvin slapped the hand away. “I have to get ready for work… I’m sorry…” Marvin opened the door, looked back at Whizzer, seeing him in a hospital gown and cap, and left with the door opened. Marvin went to the bathroom, took off his clothes, turned on the shower, and got in. He vowed to never have sex again… _ever._ Not if that meant hurting Whizzer… not if that meant him dying.

He realized that he went back in time… somehow… A time where Whizzer was still alive and he was still that stubborn, psychotic man that he was, and how he’ll always be. Knowing himself as a person, he’ll just fuck it up again… He’s such a fuck up. Marvin gritted his teeth and halfheartedly punched the tiled wall. He could see a tiny reflection on the white tile. He looked like shit… He quietly chuckled at his terrible state. Marvin turned off the shower, made himself look at least presentable, and left the house, all without saying goodbye to Whizzer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the short chapter... I promise that the next one will be longer than this.


	7. Chapter 7

Whizzer absolutely hated coming to this place, but it really was the only place he could get some help. He stepped into the therapist's office and sat down on a wooden bench. He sat next to some old lady and a obviously unhinged man. The man gave him a creepy smile. Whizzer nervously smiled back. “Mr… Brown?” Whizzer was relieved that he was called up to the office. Whizzer followed the lady to a door that labeled DR MENDEL. He entered in to see a humble office. There were books in a bookcase, a chair that faced a desk, which had papers and pens and thumbtacks littered on it. Behind the desk was a man with a chiseled beard and messy brown hair. He also wore an unsavory sweater… As much as Marvin complains about him, they both don’t seem to have a good sense of fashion either. “Hello! You must be Whizzer Brown! Marvin’s friend, right?”

“Yeah…”

“Well then, sit down, relax! Tell me all about what troubles you.”

“I’m not here to talk about my problems, Doctor.”

“What do you mean?” Dr. Mendel asks with uncertainty. “Marvin. Tell me about your appointments with Marvin.”

“I think that that would be illegal…”

“I think it should be illegal to flirt with your patient’s wife behind their back.”

“If it’s information you want, it’s information you’ll get!”

According to Mendel, Marvin has been… off. He’s no longer stubborn, or making any sarcastic replies. He’s actually kind of depressing, really (Not like Whizzer didn’t notice). If Mendel would embarrassingly swoon over Trina, he would say nothing about it. Instead, he would tell him to just tell her he likes him. Marvin talks about divorcing Trina, how all he does is drag her down. When he divorced her, he swore it made her happier, like the old Trina he used to knew. He says that she needs someone who actually cares about her, instead of her looks.

Marvin talked about Whizzer worrying for him. How it’s absolutely pointless and that he should spend his time with anyone except him. He admits he hasn’t seen Trina nor Jason these past few weeks. He’s afraid of looking at Jason and seeing disappointment in his eyes. Marvin admits he’s tired. He admits he’s stubborn, stupid, and most likely sociopathic. He often says that “He wishes he could just sleep, for a really long time.”

“I don’t know what’s gotten into him! But I’m guessing that Marvin is depressed. I might have to put him on medication… Do you know anything about why Marvin has been so moody all of a sudden?”

“When is he not?” Whizzer joked and both men laughed at the joke, Mendel’s a bit more forced. “But seriously, it’s kind off my job.”

“I'm not answering that question.” Marvin doesn’t know he’s here, the last thing he needs is an angry, or moody Marvin scolding him for getting into his business. “Please?”

“Or, I could tell that wonderful lady in the front about your interesting thoughts on Trina.”

“Okay, never mind then!” Whizzer got up from the chair and dusted of his pants. “Tell Marvin about this, and I won’t hesitate to tell everyone in this building about your… fanticatses.” Mendel gulped and nodded his head. At least now he has more information than he did before. It’s time to investigate the mystery that was Marvin.


	8. Chapter 8

When Whizzer got home, he saw Marvin, staring at the T.V, which was on the news. “Hey Marv.” Usually, Marvin would expect a massage when he came home, but after these past few weeks, he knew better not to. Marvin responded with a grunt, keeping his eyes on the screen at all times. “What are you watching?”

“Columbia is getting ready for launch into space.”

“Oh, isn’t that exciting! Maybe me and you will be the first men to have sex on the moon.” Marvin glared at Whizzer, then turned back to the T.V screen. Whizzer opened his mouth, but decided not to say anything. “Wanna go to Trina’s house? You haven’t been there in weeks, plus I’m not cooking today.”

“Okay.”

“Marvin, you’ve been… distant.”

“...”

It was then Whizzer made a realization. The distance, the less physical contact with him, him spacing out. Whizzer looked down to the the ground. “Is there another? I mean, I won’t be angry, I mean I will, but I just want to know why you’ve been acting weird…”

Marvin gets up and walks up to Whizzer. His cold and lifeless eyes softened a little as he stared into his. He smiled, but it was a sad smile, that was filled with pain. Marvin kissed him, the softest and the most innocent kiss he ever got from Mavin. It was slow, nothing too big, but it was nice either way. Whizzer tried to slip in his tongue, but Marvin pulled away before he could. “I love you Whizzer, more than you know… M’sorry I haven’t been acting like it… I just have…” He sighs. “Things to work out right now…”

Whizzer was… shocked. Never, never in the relationship that was him and Marvin, did he ever say he loved him. He was speechless. Utterly speechless. Marvin tilted his head slightly. “Is that okay to say?” Whizzer pulled Marvin closer to him. He wasn’t gonna cry, he wasn’t gonna cry, he wasn’t gonna cry- “Of _fucking course_ it’s okay Marvin. I… I love you too, didn’t think you would say it…” Whizzer could see the hurt in Marvin’s eyes when he said that. “Marv, I didn’t mean it that way-“

“No. It’s fine Whiz. I mean, who would think a guy like me could ever love someone.” Marvin laughed, the same empty laugh that meant that something was wrong. “Marv, I didn’t mean it-“

“I’m going to take a shower.”

“Marv wait-“

Marvin shimmed his way out of Whizzer’s hold. He opened the bathroom door, and quietly shut it. Marvin, he loves him. _He loves him._ He’d say I like you, or I love the way you are in bed, but never a _I love you._ And Whizzer has to go and mess it up. It’s actually the longest conversation he had with Marvin, since that day he woke up and changed. So much for progress...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hit me up on tumblr at Crustyboi88


	9. Chapter 9

Whizzer waited in silence for Marvin to come out the bathroom. He needed to apologize. But he… he just won’t let him. Dammit… Marvin entered the room with the same retched sweatshirt and jeans. He was crying, Whizzer could tell. “Marv.”

“Whiz…”

“I’m s-“

“Let’s go…” Marvin walked out the house into the car. Whizzer hopped in the car. Luckily, the radio was off. The drive there was completely silent, all they could hear is the sound of each other breathing. They pulled up to Trina’s house. Whizzer rang the doorbell. Trina opened the door, they were hit with the smell of food, chicken parmesan. “Hello Marvin, Whiz- You two look terrible!”

“I know…” Marvin mumbled. Whizzer guiltily looked away from Marvin. “Come, come inside. I’ll prepare dinner for you two.” Marvin slowly moved into the house. “Mind telling me what’s stuck up Marvin’s ass?” Trina whispered to Whizzer. He shook his head. “I… I don’t want to talk about it.”

 

The food was set on the diner table, a tiny dining room. No one talked, the only thing heard were forks scraping across the glass plates. Marvin didn’t eat anything on the plate, just stared down at it. “So Marvin,” Jason started. “How is life screwing your boy toy?” Marvin tensed. “You know, I hope it’s worth it, since you left mom and me. I guess sex is more important than any of us could ever be.”

“Jason hush…” Trina whispered. “No. No I will not be quiet. He left us. All for some… some sex with some fuck boy in fancy clothing! If anything you should be angry, enraged. Cause I sure am! A guy Mom. He left you for a guy. Now he decides to waltz into your house for your food out of your money! Kick him out!”

“Jason, I don’t like your b-“

“He’s right.” Marvin stood up from his seat. “I’m being selfish. Sorry isn’t going to fix that, I know. So I’ll just leave. Bye,Trina, Jason, William.” The whole table falls silent. He quickly rushed out the home, didn’t even drive away, just walked. Whizzer let out a sob when he heard the door shut. Jason ran upstairs. Trina consoled him by rubbing his back. “I… I d-don’t know what I-I’m doing wro-wrong…” Whizzer cried out. “Every, every time… I get close… H-he just, distances himself… I try. Trina I try.”

He openly cried into Trina’s arms. “I’m sorry… F-for everything…”

“Don’t apologize. You did nothing wrong.”

“I tore M-Marvin away from you…”

“No, that was his conscious decision. You had no say in it. Plus, I’m surviving with just Jason and I. I don’t need a man to provide for myself.” Whizzer by his lip. She’s lying. She has to be. He knows how stressed Trina always is… he shouldn’t add on to it. “Now then. I have to go have a talk with Jason.” Whizzer nodded. He stared at his plate.

He fucked up. Marvin is just drifting away from him and he doesn’t know what to do… He loves Marvin. With all his heart. Seeing him like this hurts. He wishes they could just go back to being stupid and in love, and doing dumb things without caring about the consequences. When he sees Marvin, he’s gonna talk things through with him, Even if he doesn’t want to talk. He’ll make things right. He just knows it.

 

Whizzer drove home after Trina comforted him. He opened the door to his house, their house. It was eerily silent. He walked to their bedroom to see Marvin curled up in blankets. Whizzer smiled at how peaceful he looked. He climbed in bed with him, combing his hair with his hands. “Night Marv. I love you.”


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I cried writing this...

_September 18, 1982_

_He remembers staring upon Whizzer’s lifeless body. Though he was dead, his mouth curled up to a smirk. He flinched when a hand was placed on his shoulder. “It’ll be okay.” Cordelia patted his shoulder. He didn’t move to look at her, he just stared at Whizzer in his fancy suit. He always liked fancy expensive things… They all chipped in for the casket. It was made of oak, painted white. Lilies and and Lavender surrounded the casket. Rain started to come down from the sky. It was time to burry Whizzer, and Marvin wasn’t ready for it. “Marvin, it’s time.” Trina said sadly. “Just a few more minutes… just the two of us.” Trina nodded and walked off._

_“We’ve been together for 9 months… we’ve even survived a year… You know… someone wise once told me that all men get what they deserved… But, you didn't deserve this. Not in a million lifetimes… You were special you know… you’re the only one my son would talk to, and we all know Jason… He takes after me… I just hope he doesn’t grow up to be like me… I loved our conversations. I miss talking to you. I miss arguing with you over childish things… I miss your stubbornness, and your pride, and you being stuck up all the time. I went through all that trouble just to be with you. Left my kid, left my wife… I… I wish I could just… spend one hour more with you… one hour more Will… just one hour… I… What would I… What would I do… if we weren’t friends? I’m sorry I never said it before but, I love you William Brown, and you had to die just for me to say it.”_

_Whizzer was buried into the ground a few moments after. The grave taunting him, telling him the Whizzer is gone, and will never come back, ever. He broke out into sobs. There was no one there to comfort him, just him and the grave. “You’re selfish you know.” He doesn’t even look up to see who’s talking. “Marvin’s problems, Marvin’s world, Marvin’s wife, Marvin’s child, Marvin’s ‘friend’. You disgust me. You can’t even look up at me. Look up Marvin, look up.” Marvin looks up to see Whizzer. Whizzer scoffed and disappeared. He looks at the grave in front of him, but it’s changed. It’s his name. The ground below him disappears and he falls into the darkness. He suddenly feels as if he was suffocating. He can’t breathe. He can’t he can’t he can’t-_

Marvin shot up from his bed. He gripped at his sweatshirt, trying to calm himself down. Tears openly fell down his faces. Marvin held his hand up to his mouth, attempting to block out the pathetic sounds he was making. “Marv?” Whizzer sat up and rubbed his eyes. “You’re crying.” Marvin repeatedly said “I’m sorry” into his hand. “You’re okay, you’re right here, you’re fine. You’re with me, in bed, and all is well with the world.”

“You died…” Whizzer kissed him on the cheek. “Not dead, see. I'm alive and well.” Marvin refused to believe that. “I’m dead… I’m supposed to be dead.”

“No… you’re not dead. You’re here with me, see!” Whizzer held his hand. “Why can’t I die?” Marvin gripped onto his arms, his nails digging into him. Just like the dream, he was suffocating. He couldn’t breathe, he couldn’t breathe no matter how much he tried. Someone was shouting at him… He didn’t know who, his brain couldn’t process the things around him. The world turned black, and all he could see was Whizzer, the same disappointment in his eye.

Marvin slowly opened his eyes just to close them again. The goddamn room is way too fucking bright. His arm ached, but when did it not? He hears… someone crying. He feels as if he was thrown around in a tornado. “Marvin? Oh thank God!”

Marvin opens his eyes. He’s in a hospital room, and Whizzer took up his whole field of vision. He was smiling and his eyes were red. “Why are you crying?” His voice was hoarse, and it hurt to talk. “Why am I- Marvin you… you’re arms!” He looked down to see both of his arms bandaged up. He wasn’t too surprised, after all, this did happen often, sans the hospital. “Y-you… You freaked out over some dream, and you passed out, a-and… and you said you wanted to die! Why… why would you say something like that… why… why would you want to leave us… to leave me?”

Marvin looks down to his hands. There’s many reasons why he wants to leave this world… All reasons Whizzer doesn’t need to know about. He replied with a shrug. “And Why didn’t you tell me you felt that way? How long Marvin? How long?”

“I…” Marvin shut his mouth. He couldn’t really say that “I started to feel like the scum of the earth when you started dying.” Marvin looks away from Whizzer. “I swear, it’s that dream, right? What happened in it?”

“Nothing…”

“Stop trying to hide this from me! It’s like your protecting me from something, well I’ll tell you now, I don’t need protection.”

“I’m sorry… but I can’t… it’s… it’s stupid…”

“If this dream makes you scratch up your arm, then it’s not stupid.”

“I’m telling you Whiz, you don’t need to know, drop it.”

“What are you protecting me from? I swear Whizzer why the-“

“ITS BECAUSE YOU DIED! ITS BECAUSE YOU DIED… you died… you died… died of AIDS… September 18, 1982… I think… I think I went back in time, or I’m in some other universe or something… there’s no way that it was all a dream… There’s no way that a dream can last 3 years…” Whizzer looked at him in shock. “...I’m sorry, I sound crazy, forget everything I said.”

“No… I believe you. I just, can’t wrap my head around the concept, I mean, if I was dead, then how’d you get here? I bet the world would go around without me…” Marvin didn’t say anything, for he couldn’t tell Whizzer that he killed himself. He’d probably freak out, and worry, which would be bad. “I don’t know…and partly, he didn’t. He doesn't know why he’s back here again, he doesn't know why Whizzer is alive, he doesn’t know. “I’m sorry…” Marvin mumbled.

Whizzer wrapped his arms around him and cried into his now he notices hospital gown. Marvin slowly wrap his arms around Whizzer. For now… maybe it’s okay not to know, just to know that Whizzer is still here, and for damn sure was going to protect him in any way possible.


	11. Chapter 11

The doctor came into the room. He was obviously tired, probably because he has to deal with a patient who’s injuries are only minor… Whizzer was sleeping on his lap. He wasn’t going to move, just so he wouldn’t wake up. Marvin sure as hell didn’t want him to wake up to see whatever the doctor says. He already has too much to worry about, like his mental state right now. “Mr. Wells.”

“Doctor…”

“Well the good news is is that your injuries are minor. You appeared to be digging your nails into your skin, which didn’t go as deep, which is why there’s bandages on your arm.” Marvin nodded. Whizzer probably freaked out and called the hospital. He hasn’t really seen him freak out before, let alone anyone in the middle of a panic attack. “The bad news is, that by the way your friend has described the events that led you to this hospital, you have to get therapy.”

“I already have therapy… For my temper… doesn’t work if you ask me.”

“Oh, then you hand your therapist this note, and go regularly. You can leave the hospital anytime you want to, just make sure you talk to the receptionist.” And with that, the doctor left the room. He wants to go home… He wants to sleep. Whizzer shifted in his lap. “Marv…”

“Hm?”

“You okay?”

“Yeah…”

“Wanna go home?”

“Yeah. The doctor came in and said I could go as long as I check out.”

“Did he say anything else?”

“Nothing… nothing important…” Whizzer lifted his head to look at him. He sighed and got off of him. He knows Whizzer can see right through his lies. He has always been a terrible liar… They checked out the hospital and got into the same stupid car that he swore he sold. They drove home and Marvin dived head first into the couch. Today’s been a long day, even if he was asleep for most of it. Whizzer stood over the door, staring at him, hesitating. Marvin sighed.

“Are you gonna stand there, or are you gonna come join me on the couch?” Whizzer slowly climbed on top of him, resting his head in Marvin’s chest. “Marvin?”

“What?”

“I love you…”

“...Love you too.” The two men snuggled on each other as they fell asleep.

The bell woke Marvin and Whizzer up. The doorbell rang repeatedly, over and over again. It was giving Marvin a headache. He looked down at Whizzer, who drooled on his shirt as he slept soundly. He made a tiny smile. Marvin softly ruffled his hair and got off of him. He opened the door and made sure to put on his very annoyed face. He expected was some stupid kid, or some scammers. What he didn’t expect was Trina running towards him and hugging him. “Are you okay Marvin? Whizzer called me and I rushed to the hospital but you weren’t there, so I rushed to your house and here I am now and-“

“Trina, it’s fine.”

“It’s most definitely not! I mean… your arms Marv…”

“Not like it didn’t happen before…”

“Didn’t happ- Marvin! This is serious! Don’t you see it’s a problem?!”

“I know it is… and I don’t care… If that’s all that you’ve come here for, then leave…”

“What is wrong with you?!”

Marvin started to chuckle. “Everything…” Marvin put his hands through his hair, looking at the blue sky above him. Tears fell down his cheek, something he could hardly notice. He felt hands on his shoulders. “Hey, Marv… It’s me, Whizzer. You okay?” Whizzer wrapped his arms around his neck. “I’m right here, and nothing is your fault. Love you.” Marvin didn’t listen to him. Why should he? Whizzer continued to say comforting things to him. He said something to Trina, making her upset and protest, but she left.

Whizzer held his hands and guided him to his room. The roof looked so interesting right now… “Marvin look at me.” So so interesting… “Marvin.” He didn’t want to look at him. It’ll be too painful. “Marvin.” Marvin hesitantly laid his eyes on Whizzer. His face was so serious. His eyes were watery and his mouth formed into a thin line. He saw this look on Whizzer before, on the hospital bed, when he was dying. Whizzer places his hands on Marvin’s cheeks, wiping away the tears.

“I know you won’t tell me what’s wrong, and I won’t ask either, but… just know that I love you, and I’ll never not love you, even when you've been this emotional mess all the time. I promise.”

“Stop making promises you can’t keep…” Marvin winced at how weak he sounded. “I promise to keep that promise. Even if… Even if I’m dead.” Marvin stares at him, calculating what to say, but coming empty handed. Whizzer hugs him and Marvin lets him, though he doesn’t hug back. “You wanna go to sleep?” Marvin slightly nods. He lays down on the bed turning his back to Whizzer. Thoughts swirled around in his head, they all point back to him being useless. Whizzer lays on the bed with him and pulls him closer. “Love you.”

Marvin purses his lips and closed his eyes.

  
Whizzer watched as his… boyfriend? Yeah, boyfriend, slept. His chest moving up and down, almost as if he was in a calm state of mind. What the hell did Trina say to him? One moment they’re cuddling on the couch sleeping, the next moment he wakes up and sees Marvin crying at the front door and an angry and worried Trina. To see Marvin look so small… Whizzer kissed the back of Marvin’s head. Whatever she said was obviously a trigger to something.

He had such dull eyes when looking at him. He’s definitely going to talk to Trina. You know what, how about now? He gets up and dials in Trina’s number. “Whizzer?” Her voice screamed out relief. “Trina…”

“What’s gotten into Marvin? He’s saying all these worrying things about himself and his arms! You told me he scratched up his arms, by not to the point he needed bandages!”

“Trina what did you say to him?”

“What did I- What’s wrong with Marvin?!”

“Just answer the question.”

“I pointed out how you called me before, and then he says hat hey aren’t serious, so I said that doing that to himself is a problem and he… He said that it wasn’t the first time that happened…” Whizzer was shocked. Did he… does he… He can’t. He can’t. He absolutely can’t. He… he really can’t… “Then I asked him what was wrong with him… I-“

“ _Stop_. Stop there. _Nothing_ is wrong with Marvin. Nothing is wrong with my boyfriend. He’s just going through some tough times.”

“He’s not going through anything! He has he best life there is! You screwing him, me providing him food and money, a roof under his head, he’s living the dream!”

“Just because life seems okay doesn’t mean you are okay! Stop talking like he doesn’t deserve those things. You know what? Goodbye Trina! And don’t call me or come to this house ever again!” Whizzer slammed the telephone on the holder. That fucking bitch dare say that there’s something wrong with Marvin, as if he’s like a broken machine that needs to be fixed. He’s not like that, he’s just going through a bad time. He’s in grief. People react that way to grief. It’s fine. It’ll get better… eventually.

Whizzer went back to their bedroom, happy that Marvin was still sleeping peacefully. He knows he’s going to have to talk to him about the arm thing, but that’s later. “There’s nothing wrong with you Marv… you’re absolutely perfect. Flaws and all.” He kissed Marvin’s forehead and slept beside him.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW for thoughts of self harm. If that triggers you, take cation in reading this chapter or don’t read at all! Take head to the tags!

Marvin woke up to the sun beaming in his face. Fuck, his long has he been asleep? He looked at the clock. Great, he’s late for work, not like Marvin cares. He’s going to take his sweet time walking in, despite his angry boss who was probably waiting for him. Marvin sat up and sighed. Time to get ready for another shitty day…

 

He took a shower, ironed his clothes, got dressed. He stared at the fridge wondering if he should eat today or not. Eh fuck it. He got his work bag and made his way out the house.

 

“You look absolutely terrible!” Said one of his coworkers. A phrase he has been getting a lot. Even his boss started to take notice into it. And now he’s trying to make him have a sick day. “Marvin. You have turned into one of the most productive accountants here since forever. I believe that all this hard work is starting to take a toll on you.” 

 

“Didn’t you always tell me I should work harder? Well guess what, that’s what I’m doing. I’m fine.”

 

“Marvin I demand you take a sick day.”

 

“No! I’m working! I’m fine! I don’t slack off anymore or talk a lot or sleep on the job! Isn’t this what you wanted from me?!”

 

“Marvin you have dark bags under your eyes, you’re not as cheerful as before, moral effects performance.”

 

“And how has my performance been?” He grits out. His boss was silent. Good. “Now excuse me Mr. Mackflied, this inconvenience has interrupted me working. So let me get back to doing my job.” He left the boss’s office and went back to his little office cube.

 

Work was done and Marvin headed home. He’s been harassed by his coworkers and still his boss after that fruitful conversation to go home. Take a sick day they said. Use your vacation days they said. He didn’t need to do shit. Marvin gripped the steering wheel. Bunch of annoying pricks they were. He arrived home. He got out the car and fumbled for his keys. As soon as he opened the door Whizzer tackled him to the ground. “Marvin!” He shouted. “I woke up and you weren’t there and then I started to worry something happened and I knew I was being silly but-“ Marvin kissed Whizzer on his lips, just because he was talking too much. “I’m fine Whiz, I was at work. Let’s go inside, yeah?”

 

Whizzer followed him like a lost and desperate puppy around the house. It was a bit annoying, but Marvin didn’t speak out about it. With everything, he’s just worried. He walked into the kitchen and noticed there was no food cooked. “Oh you’re hungry! Let me start dinner right away!” Whizzer fretted from behind him. “No. Let me help you. Or at least let me cook.”

 

“You… cook!” Whizzer laughed at him. Marvin couldn’t cook for the life of him. Everything he made ended up burned to the crisp, too salty, too dry, too bland. It’s pathetic. No wonder Whizzer was laughing at him. It’s _pathetic._ Whizzer noticed the change in emotions coming from him and immediately stopped laughing. “I’m so sorry Marv… Yeah, you can help me cook. But I’m teaching you how to do things okay?” Marvin nodded.

 

“We’ll make some spaghetti okay?” Whizzer looked through the fridge and took out scallions, onions, and garlic. “We’ll start simple. We’ll cut up some vegetables.” Whizzer takes a knife from the drawer and stands behind Marvin. He put a scallion in one of Marvin’s hands and a knife in the other. He guided his hand to slowly cut the scallion into small pieces. “You cut the scallion like this. You got it? Not too big, not too small.” Marvin nodded. “I’ll prepare the meat and the noodles.”

 

Marvin slowly cut the vegetable, trying his hardest to make precise cuts. He remembers his other life before. How instead of a vegetable, it was his arms. How instead of the smell of scallions, it’s the smell of blood. How both the vegetable and his skin cut easily, like butter. His arms ached. He needed to damage them. He needed to hurt himself. It’s what he gets. He needed to- he  _ needed.  _

 

Hands set down on his. They were shaking. “Marvin? You’re shaking…”

 

“I-I-I’m f-fi-fine.” Marvin did his best to steady his hands, but they just wouldn’t. They shook and he couldn’t stop him and all he could think about was the shaking and the knife in his hand. He wants to do things to himself with the knife. He knows he shouldn’t, but he  _ wants to _ . He moves Whizzer’s hands away. He rolls up his sleeves to see pristine arms. No cuts, or scars, just pure unscathed skin. He wants to ruin them so badly… “W-Whiz?”

 

“Yes Marvin?”

 

“W-Where’s the b-bandages?”

 

“Why? You didn’t hurt yourself right?”

 

“I-I-I mi-might.”

 

“Oh…  _ oh.  _ Yes of course, don’t- give me that.” Whizzer pulled the knife out of his hands and put it in one of his pockets. He rushed somewhere in the house, probably the bathroom or something. Marvin sat on the floor and hugged his knees. His arms still aches. He holds them, sinking his nails into the flesh. He knows he shouldn’t. He knows it’s bad. But he just can’t stop. It’s what he deserved. He deserves this pain. He deserves this aching. He deserves all of this…

 

Whizzer came in with bandages in his hand. He knelt down besides Marvin and started to unravel the bandages. He took Marvin’s arm and inspected it for anything. “Your nails…” He gasped.

 

“I’m s-s-so-sorry…” Talking was hard. Thinking was hard. He wanted everything to be quiet. He wanted the aching to stop. “How long…” Whizzer whispers. “How long have you felt the need to…”

 

“Other world. B-Before this…” Whizzer stayed silent as he continued to wrap Marvin’s arm with bandages. Whizzer finished and kissed both his arms. He got up and went somewhere else. Marvin found it fit to sleep right there on the floor. At least it’ll stop the aching.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m sorry for not updating in about a month. I didn’t have the motivation to write, but here I am now, giving you this chapter. Enjoy!


	13. Chapter 13

Whizzer didn’t know what to do. Marvin did bodily harm to himself before… in the depressing world he talked so little about. Does he want to hurt himself now? Even while he’s still alive? How serious was it? Did anyone notice, or even care that he was hurting himself? Is that how he got here? By hurting himself?! Questions flew by his head. He wants to die, doesn’t he. It was scary to even think about Marvin dying because he wanted to. He loved Marvin. He doesn’t think he can live with himself if Marvin hurts himself at his own doing! He should probably ask, then call Mendel, and get him some medications or something…

 

Whizzer goes back to the kitchen, only to find Marvin asleep on the floor. Whizzer sighed. He scooped up Marvin in his arms. Was he getting lighter? It’s usually a bit of a hassle to lift him up, but now it’s not. Is he eating? What if he isn’t eating? How could he let that slip! He gotta… Gotta cook more for him. Have to have dinners together… 

 

He put Marvin in their bed. Whizzer sat beside him. He closed his eyes and let his thoughts consume him.

 

Marvin woke up in their bed. He automatically knows that Whizzer carried him here, which mean Whizzer is… “MARVIN! ARE YOU OKAY?!” Yup… nearby. “I’m fine Whiz… Can you not speak so loud though?”

 

“Sorry… Also, Marvin, we need to talk.”

 

Of course they needed to talk. After his break down… He didn’t want to talk about how he’s an emotional mess. Or how he used to hurt himself. Or how he still does. Or the fact that he killed himself and here they were now. That wasn't a topic that he wanted to discuss… but he guessed that it needed to be discussed. “Right… right… I guess we do need to talk.”

 

“I’m going to ask you questions okay?”

 

“Right.”

 

“Did you used to-“

 

“Hurt myself? Yeah… I did. In the other world… I’m still clean. Doesn’t mean I get urges…”

 

“Okay…”

 

“I promise to never hurt myself. Not intentionally, anyways… Okay?” Marvin held up Whizzer’s hand and kissed it. “I have one more question… What were you doing before you got here? In the other world.” Marvin held his breath. He can’t tell Whizzer. He can never tell Whizzer. “It doesn't matter. I’m here now.”

 

“It matters to me! What were you doing?!”

 

“You don’t need to know…”

 

“You hurt yourself, didn’t you?”

 

“... I didn’t-“

 

“You  _ killed _ yourself.”

 

“I didn’t Whiz I swear-“

 

“You’re lying.”

 

“ _ Please  _ just believe me William!”

 

“Just tell me the truth! Stop protecting me from these things! I’m a grown man, whatever your problems are I can take them and I can help you!”

 

“I DON'T WANT TO TELL YOU BECAUSE THEN YOU'LL SEE HOW MUCH OF A MESS I AM! I DON’T YOU TO SEE HOW I WAS HOLDING UP! I-... I…” Marvin put his head in his hands and laughed. This is exactly how things ended up the way the were. It was so  _ hilarious.  _ You’d think he learned… you’d think… Now he’s going to have one of his famous giddy seizures.  _ Perfect. _ “This is stupid… this is all stupid… I did kill myself and then I ended up back where I started… I’m such a mess, aren’t I?” He croaked out. 

 

He expected Whizzer to yell at him, or be shocked, and then kick him out to the streets, where he belongs. He didn’t expect Whizzer to cup his face, move his hands away, and kiss him softly on the lips. “You’re  _ my  _ mess. You’re my beautiful mess. I love you so much Marvin.” Whizzer peckered him with kisses. Marvin’s cries died down into small hiccups. He sounds like a child. Like Jason when he was little and scraped his knee once. He looked at Whizzer.

 

Whizzer looked stressed, and worried. Wrinkles started to form on his face. What ever happened to happy Whizzer? To the Whizzer who had spark and would snap at you? The Whizzer who needed his beauty sleep and spa days? “We need to go to the spa… You’re getting worry lines…”

 

“That’s what you worry about now?”

 

“I miss your spark…”

 

“I don’t have a spark anymore?! How rude of you Marvin. I should dump you right on the spot!”

 

“There he is.” Marvin snuggled into the bed. “You want to lay down and just… make today an off day?”

 

“Yeah…” Marvin responds. Whizzer held Marvin closer to him. Whizzer played with Marvin’s hair, and Marvin snuggled closer. He wishes it could just stay this way.


	14. Chapter 14

Trinia called for Marvin to watch over Jason. Marvin agreed, much to Whizzer’s protest. Marvin took him to an art studio, like he did in the other world. Jason, ever the same, moody and too smart for his own good. He just glared at Marvin. Marvin can’t blame him. Jason deserves a better father. Jason points at a picture that had sploshes of paint on it. “What does that one mean?”

 

“I don’t know. Whatever…” Marvin squinted at the name in small print. He couldn’t even say that guy’s name. “That guy wanted it to mean.”

 

“What is up with you? Why are you acting weird? Why don’t you come over anymore? Why?”

 

“I… That I cannot answer…”

 

“Why not? Too good to tell me?”

 

“Jason, you are better than me in every way.”

 

“Wha- This isn’t you! This isn’t the Marvin I know! The Marvin I know is selfish, greedy, and has an ego bigger than the Empire State!” He shouts. People in the art museum looked at them with judging eyes. Everything felt heavy. “I know… I’m sorry…”

 

“Sorry?! You say sorry after to left me and mom for some man slut?! You’re a horrible person, and a horrible father!”

 

“I know…  _ I know… _ ”

 

“You shouldn’t even be alive…”

 

“I know… I shouldn’t. I’m a failure. I should die. You’re right. Everything you said was right.”

 

“...Why aren’t you yelling at me? Or pulling me to a less private place to talk?”

 

“Because my reputation doesn’t matter at this point. It was dumb to take you here in the first place… I’ll get you some ice cream and I’ll drop you home, yeah?” Jason eyes grew as big as saucers, his jaw dropping to the ground. “You coming Jason?” Jason lagged behind Marvin.

 

Marvin brought ice cream for Jason, and drove him home. Marvin fumbled with his keys and took off Trina’s key. He threw them at Jason. “I don’t need these anymore… Keep them. Tell you mother she doesn’t have to cook for me or Whizzer, yeah?” Marvin left a speechless Jason home. He held back his tears this long. He let them all out in the car. He didn’t notice Jason waving at him.

 

Marvin crashed on the bed, ignoring Whizzer on his way in. “Marvin? Are you okay?”

 

“I’ll be fine.”

 

“That’s not an answer.”

 

“I’m fine Whiz. Just a long day.” He feels Whizzer sitting next to him, rubbing his back. “You sure you okay?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“Want me to stay here?”

 

“No. Just want some time to myself.” Whizzer gets up and leaves the room. He comes back dinner and kisses Marvin on his forehead. 

 

Trina invited Marvin to her house, even though Whizzer tried to keep him away from there. “Jason needs a therapist! He takes after you-“ Trina points at him. “He never plays with the other kids! Just sits around playing chess all day. “Is that so bad Trina? He’s happy.” He says softly, looking and Jason pondering his next move. “Yes it is! He won’t be normal! He won’t fit in!” Trina sighs and walks up to Jason. “Sweetheart, why don’t you go play outside?” Jason looked at her with disgust. “No.”

 

“I worry Jason. I worry a lot! About everything! You know that.” Jason rolled his eyes. “I could take you to the Jewish center!” Jason gagged on thin air, sticking his tongue out. “I don’t think you like playing chess alone! That’s  _ not  _ normal!”

 

“Tell me mom, what’s normal?” 

 

“...I wouldn’t know…”

 

“Why don’t you speak on the telephone, with anyone! Just get a friend! Anyone?” Jason ignores Trina’s pleas. “Jason, please see a psychiatrist. He’s quite a guy! I admire him!” No answer “No one’s saying you’re a sick neurotic, but you could find some help, and he’ll help you realize how confused you are, it’s very clear.” Trina squishes Jason’s Face with her hands, keeping dead eye contact “Daddy’s sincere, but hush now. You and I must stick together and trust our emotions. So will you stop arguing with me and go?” Jason smacked Trina’s hands away. He pulled his face into thought and then said no. 

 

Trina looked in his direction for support and guidance, though he really didn’t want Jason to go to a psychiatrist. He didn’t need one. He’s a perfectly normal boy. But then again, Jason gets the father he deserves… Marvin sighed. “Jason, your mother wants you to see a psychiatrist.”

 

“No!”

 

“Darling please listen to your father! He might sound queer,” Jason scoffed. “But him and I know what’s best for you!”

 

“I refuse to go!”

 

“Come on Jason, he’s just a psychiatrist…”

 

“NEVERNEVERNEVERNEVERNEVER!” Trina dramatically sighed and Marvin backed himself into the wall. Jason pointed at him accusingly. “You don’t even want me to go, don’t you?”

 

“Between you and me kid, no, but if you don’t go, your mother will never leave you alone again. She won’t stop until you go, okay?” Jason sighs. “I want to speak to Whizzer before my final decision. “WHIZZER?!” Trina squawked. Marvin already knew about this, so he went  on dialing him from the phone in the kitchen.!“Marvin? Is everything okay?”

 

“Yeah, Trina’s Trying to convince Jason to go to the psychiatrist. Just… work with it okay?” Whizzer sighed through the receiver. “Tell the kid to get his ass over here.”

 

“Thank you Whiz…”

 

“Whatever.” Marvin holds out the phone to Jason. They talk for a while, and then he hangs up the phone. “I’ll go.”

 

“Oh thank goodness! Trina shouts. Now Trina and Jason will have a new man in their life. Someone who wasn’t Marvin.


	15. Chapter 15

Marvin laid down on the familiar red couch, staring up at the white ceiling. “Hello Marvin.”

 

“Hi Mendel.”

 

“So how was your day?”

 

Marvin shrugged. “It was fine.”

 

“Alright, what about Whizzer?”

 

“He’s alright.”

 

“Marvin, tell me what you think of Whizzer. Do you love him?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Do you need him?”

 

“Of course. He makes me feel special.”

 

“Do you think he’s special?”

 

“Just delightful.”

 

“And romantic?”

 

“...Yeah.”

 

“Maybe a bit spiteful?”

 

“No. I’m the one who’s spiteful…” Mendel hums. He hears a pencil scribbling on paper. “Well, you got to enjoy it while you can! Time doesn’t slow for anyone! Love the boy, not the man.” Marvin sighs. He shakes away the memory of Whizzer passing away. They fell into a long silence. “...Kinda stylish.”

 

“Sorta very.” Whizzer has always cared about the way he looks. He’s handsome, he knows that. He likes showing off his beauty with a new polo shirt, or new khaki pants. He liked reminding everyone how beautiful he was. Marvin felt lucky to score a guy like him, when he could of settled for a nice girl, or a better man. “Very… very. And-“

 

“Hard to describe?”

 

“Yeah…”

 

“When he’s naked? Does he thrill you?” Marvin blushed. “Next topic.”

 

“Really? You love ranting about what you two do in bed.” Marvin cringes at his former self. “Next topic.” Mendel sighed. “Conclusion?”

 

“I love him. Everything about him. More than anything in the world. And really, that’s all you need to know.”

 

They continued to talk about Whizzer and Marvin’s day, until Mendel gets seemingly restless. His leg shook drastically, and he tapped his fingers rapidly on the desk. 

 

Marvin inwardly groans, getting ready for the awkward conversation he was about to have. Then, “I HAVE BEEN SEEING YOUR WIFE FOR THERAPY SESSIONS!” Mendel blurted out. “I know.”

 

“I see that your wife- your  _ ex-wife  _ subtle enchantments and her upsetting stories happen to uh… um… intRIGUE! Y-yeah! Intrigue me!” Marvin nodded, letting Mendel go on. “W-when first met she made… quite the impression… Jesus did it get hot in here? Um… She comes to speak about Jason. Uhhh… A-and I hope Jason acts out more! B-B-Because m-me and Trina n-need to  _ explore  _ so-some things… Godthatsoundedweird...” Marvin raised his eyebrow. “Right…”

 

“Right! You said she was withholding things, correct?”

 

“Well I ta-“

 

“Well maybe that’s not the case! Maybe she left love back from you!” Marvin nods along. He gets up and cues for Mendel to lay down on the red chair. Not to Marvin’s surprise, Mendel switches seats with him. “When I met Trina, your views on her are very,  _ very  _ different from mine. She’s not as cold as you persevered her! She’s really nice. Really… really…  _ really  _ nice.” Mendel goes into a daydream for a moment, but then shakes himself out of it. “Was she faithful? Be objective?”

 

“I guess.”

 

“And you wanted to impress her?”

 

“I guess. But I also guess that I-“

 

“Did she sweat a lot?” Marvin sighs in frustration. How could he have fallen into this twice? “Here we go again…”

 

“Was she ruthless?”

 

“Oh God no-“

 

“Narcissistic?”

 

“Mendel please…”

 

“Did she-“ Mendel’s face flushed up. “Did she sleep…”

 

“Nude?”

 

Mendel nods eagerly. Marvin sighed for the millionth time. “No.” Mendel points to his tiny notebook. Marvin groans and hands him his things. “Does not… sleep… in nude…” He mumbled as he scribbled in his notebook. “Okay… I h-have more questions! L-like if she wears a negligé…” Marvin takes notice to the obvious boner in Mendel’s pants. Marvin covered his eyes in shame. 

 

Mendel blinked, looked down, then looked up at Marvin, his face flushed red.“W-WAIT YOU TOOK MY SEAT!” “Here’s your stupid seat back…” Marvin gets up and sits on the couch nearby. He refused to sit in that chair after whatever excited Mendel so much… “A-anyways… Dear me, look at the time... What’s going on with you?”

 

The grandfather clock chimed 3 times. “Session over! Bye!” Marvin rushed out the room. His reaction was better than the last time. He knows Mendel and Trina aren’t married yet, but the thought of them loving each other made the conversation more… tolerable. He remembers how jealous he was of Mendel. He remembers how much he hated Mendel for loving his wife, taking his kid away, and practically his whole life. But that was the ideals of his former more assholic self. 

 

Now Mendel is just… Mendel. He likes his ex, so what? He has Whizzer and that’s all that really matters. He gets to spend some time with Jason, which is even more than he could ask for. Mendel is good for Trina, he sees that now. He should probably play Cupid and get them to fall in love with each other. Thoughts of the conversation came flooding back. Marvin scrunched up his face. Maybe he can play Cupid later…

  
  
  


Marvin sat down in the familiar red chair. Today was just awful. Trina asked if he could go to Jason’s ball game. Marvin cheered Jason on the best he could. It wasn’t enough, because they lost. For some reason, Jason glanced at him the entire game. His face was scared, angry, and pleading for something. Afterwards, Jason yelled at him, saying it was Marvin’s fault his team lost, and how everything is his fault.

 

Marvin’s already low self esteem plummeted. Jason absolutely hates him. He doesn’t speak out how he feels to Mendel, though. He just laid there, on the couch, feeling miserable for himself. He wanted to go home, curl in ball with Whizzer and cry. 3 hours passed, and it was already 3:00. Marvin mumbled a sorry goodbye and left. 

  
  


G1 to F3. Jason did not understand his father. E7 to E6. First he’s narcissistic, egocentric, and stupidly idiotic, G2 to G4, then he’s sad, depressing, and quiet. F8 to D6. What the hell is up with him! What is he doing now! Why is he so… weird?! Jason flips his chess board in frustration. The chess pieces, his beautiful chess pieces, all tumble to the floor, one of them rolling under his bed. Jason huffed. Chess was a release from his dumb family. More beautiful than any jewel, person, or feeling. And he certainly loves the game more than his dumb father.


End file.
